Hi :D
I don't mind talking about this at all. Hmm.. where to start... this will probably be long.
I stopped believing years ago now, more then 4. Its hard to pinpoint when because it happened so slowly, and took a lot of thought. It also wasn't any one thing that caused me to realize that god wasn't real, but a massive amount of evidence that finally convinced me.
A big part of it was coming to understand how easy it is to trick my brain. And that things which i felt or thought i saw or heard could easily be incorrect. Once i started to look at the world without the bias of my belief, it became fairly obvious that the evidence around me was pointing in another direction.
I also started having a much better understanding of biology and evolution. I found that the things in our christain biology books showing how evolution was false were old arguments that had been dis-proven countless times. This is something id be happy to go on about for pages, but basically, I learned how evolution really works, it makes sense and all of the evidence backs it up.
As other believers tried to convince me with things like the biblical prophecies of Jesus I spent a lot of time digging into and researching those things... mostly trying to defend my faith for myself... but under scrutiny it all fell flat. I couldn't find the tiniest scrap of evidence god existed, that wasn't just as likely to be caused by something else.
For instance, prayer. For the sake of argument consider two universes, one where god exists, and one where he does not. In both universes a man is praying for his sick brother. In both universes the man becomes well. In one, god healed him, in the other he just got better on his own. In both universes the man who prayed for his brother knows that it was god who did it, and is thankful. Or! In both universes the sick brother dies. In one universe it wasn't gods will for him to live, in the other, he just dies from natural causes. In both universe the man who prayed thinks "It must have been Gods will" ... how can you tell which universe your in? How can you tell if god is real or a delusion?
After I changed my mind and decided I had no proof of god, Ive had people tell me (in kinder words) there must be some sin I want to get away with, something i don't want to feel guilty about, so i abandoned god for that supposed freedom. But oddly my morals haven't changed too much, and only have started rerouting in the past two years... even then not much. Others think it was Alix (my wife) who pulled me away from god... but it took some convincing from me to sway her belief. The only reason i changed my mind is because i put the truth first, I don't care if its unpleasant or sad or whatever, I just want to get as close to the truth as i can. In fact, I'm not sure Ive cried over the loss of something more then i did god... But i can not deny the truth of it, he simply is not there.
Having overcome that, Ive never been happier. It's much harder, having to decided what your own morals and rules are, but its also more fulfilling. All my accomplishments are mine alone, as are my failures... and I feel exceptionally responsible for my actions. Its helped me become fairly amazing.
I don't mind being preached at. I'm the kind of person who invites Jehovah Witnesses in to talk about their belief. I'm very open to being wrong, I know that i could hear something new that would shatter my world. Its already happened to me twice, its likely to happen again (once when i stop believing, and a second time after reading Wolfram's 'New Kind of Science').
Anyhow, if you want any details on any of that, or want to share anything, i'm open to it.
Over and out,
Calvin
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